


An Odd Boy Indeed

by shameful_pseudonym



Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Character Redemption, Emotionally Repressed, First Kiss, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pining, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-06-29 20:47:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15737061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shameful_pseudonym/pseuds/shameful_pseudonym
Summary: Cole Mackenzie was always an odd boy, this much was for certain. After giving it some thought though, was he really that odd? Billy said he didn't need to think but for some reason his thoughts have been mostly on Cole. Maybe he's just as odd as he always ridiculed Cole for being.





	1. Chapter 1

Cole Mackenzie was always an odd boy, this much was for certain. All the time he’d been able to have any form of personality he was different, at first only a little, but then more and more as he aged. Unlike the other boys he didn’t get along much with the other boys in his class and he didn’t try to most of the time. He hardly saw any of them outside of the classroom anyway so what was the use? Oddest of all about Cole is how on one winter day, he just never came back to his family home. 

Since Billy Andrews got a visit from Cole to apologize he had been thinking about why he felt the need to destroy things that weren’t his, although he would never say it out loud. After changing his bandages, he sat on his bed and continued thinking, wondering just why he hated Cole Mackenzie so much. Until just recently he’d never harmed Billy or gave him any ill will, and even now it was a mistake on his part and he did feel guilt for it. So why did he hate him so much unprompted. He never did mean to knock Cole off the Ladder when he was working on painting for the winter pageant, only to make him wiggle on the ladder a bit. It was an honest admission when he had said he didn’t mean to hurt him, but all the same nobody believed him. Billy had gotten in his share few of fights, but he had never broken someone’s bone before and he had felt incredibly guilty about it. He had hated how guilty he felt about it, but thinking back maybe there was some sort of reason there other than he had never done something that severe before. 

Despite not having wanted to, he thought all through the night about Cole. What was it about him that got him so hung up? All he knew was he needed to make amends and apologize for ruining Cole’s sculptures. The next morning, he gave his parents the false story about going to talk with his friends and left for the Mackenzie family farm. Before even knocking on the door, the woman he assumed to be Cole’s mother opened it. “Good morning, can I talk to Cole for a bit,” he asked. Mrs. Mackenzie coldly told him that her son had decided to leave the family for a wealthy elderly woman in Charlottetown. Billy nodded and left without a proper goodbye to go home and think some more just about Cole. 

Thinking back on it, Cole had never really done anything to Billy and honestly, there was probably a reason every time they made eye contact, Billy quickly broke it. Yes, he was a sissy, yes he was weak, but still he was the most gentle and passionate boy he knew, even more so than Gilbert. He knew his sister’s friend Josie liked him but he was never really sure why until he actually thought about it. There was something about him that was just odd and he knew it was strange, but he felt intrigued by him. Despite not being sure why, he was more interested in Cole than any girl he had ever met and he needed insight on why the girls liked him; and who better to ask than his two sisters who were in fact girls. But he couldn’t just go to them first, that would seem like he was thinking about him a lot, which he was but that wasn’t what they needed to know. 

Upon arriving home, he went into his room, layed down on his bed, and began tossing a ball in the air and catching it. After a while, his sisters entered after knocking a bit, Prissy bringing him a cup of tea. “Is everything alright? Are you sick,” Jane asked, coming in and letting herself sit at the foot of his bed as Billy sat up. “You seem out of it,” she added, to which Prissy nodded in agreement and joined her siblings on the bed. “Are you still mad about the whole Cole Mackenzie ordeal?” 

He took a drink of the tea and sighed, “What do all the girls see in him? What makes people like him so much?” That was a good day to go about asking that question, it didn’t show either of them that he in fact had been thinking about Cole a lot; thinking about his stupid face, that stupid cupid’s bow of his lip, those gentle eyes, that stupid hair that wasn’t blond or red like make up your mind, Cole, you can’t have both red and blond hair. Plus, he was taller than Billy, who gave him the right to do that? It wasn’t like Cole was special or anything, he was just a homely farm boy who did art. 

“Well,” Prissy began, crossing her legs and turning to fully face her brother, not knowing why he even cared so much about Cole. “He’s a sweet boy, if he were older I’d probably have a school-girl crush on him too. Cole’s just a gentle, inspired, kind boy and I think the girls tend to lean more towards guys like that. They would probably be into Moody if he weren’t so,” she paused, not knowing how to phrase it politely, “Unique in appearance. Don’t worry though, as girls get older they’ll realize they want someone stronger, richer, and more of a man’s man in general and they’ll be flocking to you. You’ll be the top choice of the class easily. You might not be the softest man around, but you grew up with sisters and a progressive mother so I’m sure they’ll be impressed by your respect for women.” 

She did have a point, he was super respectful to women for the most part, but the girls in his class weren’t yet women apart from the older girls who were already betrothed for the most part. But at the same time, he wasn’t even positive that he wanted the girls to flock to him. Maybe the reason he liked destroying things so much was because of repressed feelings, which would also explain why he had such animosity towards Cole. Maybe he needed to talk to Cole in Charlottetown, that was if Anne, Diana, Gilbert, or Moody would openly give him the address of the house he was staying in. Moody would probably be the best option, but he would wait longer before going. He needed a good excuse to take a train there, maybe he could talk to one of his friends and come up with a lie about it to tell his parents. He loved his sisters, but Jane couldn’t keep a secret. For just about the first time in his life, he got a fantastic idea. He Had had ideas before, but this one was actually a good one so that was a new experience all together.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy finally mans up and fuckin does what he's subconsciously been wanting to for a while now.

Weeks later, Billy had successfully gotten the address of Cole’s new address from Moody by telling him he could sit with him and the other boys at lunch despite not planning on delivering that promise. He got dressed and waited for Jane under the guise to his parents that they were going to pick up a dress from a high-end store and he was appropriately going with her as a sign of how good of a brother he was. Billy couldn’t just let his poor, innocent little sister go into the big city alone. All he had told Jane was that he had business to attend to and wouldn’t answer any further questions from her about it as they boarded the train. “You stay in the dress shop until I come back, okay? The women in the shop shouldn’t hurt you and you should be safe there,” he instructed her as they boarded the train and took their seats. Nobody but he needed to know what he was going to the city to find out and he didn’t intend to tell anyone. 

Leaning against the window, he just kept thinking about Cole and how pissed he was that he kept thinking about Cole. Why was that guy occupying so many thoughts of his lately? His sisters were right though, he was a gentle, inspired guy. Why did after all this time of being told he was gonna marry a woman one day did he suddenly begin thinking that maybe he didn’t want to marry a woman? Even in books he had been forced to read or plays he’d gone to he’d been more into the male characters. At first, he thought he was just a guy with very high standards for women to live up to, but he would have thought by now that he would have found one woman character or person he was taken with. Something was wrong with Cole, that was clear, but the more he thought about it, that same something seemed like it could be wrong with himself. 

That something was not only wrong, but illegal as well. He couldn’t just be attracted to boys, that was a crazy idea. With another boy he couldn’t have children or get married properly and he wasn’t even sure how intercourse would work with another boy. It wasn’t like he felt this way about all boys, he wasn’t mental. It was just Cole who he thought about so often, wondering if his skin was as soft as it looked and now wondering what it would be like to kiss him. Billy had kissed before, he wasn’t a loser, it just always had been girls and he never really felt anything, but for some reason he thought that maybe kissing Cole would be different. 

Billy sat there, lost in thought until the train arrived at the station, screeching to a halt. Taking Jane by the hand, he exited the train looking like a man on a mission as he very much was. Upon making sure Jane got to the dress shop on time, he gave her some money and said that he planned to be back by noon and that they could have something to eat before going home. Jane looked excited by this idea, there were so many different types of food here, the possibilities were endless. After giving his little sister a pat on the shoulder and telling her to stay out of trouble, he was off. Hailing a carriage was easier than he had expected in this town and the driver seemed to know the address given rather well. 

When they pulled up to the estate, Billy looked at the driver, to pay him but also asking if he looked presentable. The coachman laughed a bit, taking the coins. “Is there a young lady in there that you fancy,” he teased before fixing Billy’s hair a bit. “Good as gold. Would be better if you didn’t have those bandages but there’s only so much you can do for that.” Not really knowing what else to do, Billy nodded and thanked him for the help before getting off and heading to the door, taking a deep breath as the coach drove away. He smoothed out his shirt, making sure everything looked at least presentable. With a deep breath, he knocked on the door.   
After a moment, a man opened the door and Billy just sort of looked at him before hearing an older sounding voice from the inside of the house call out. “Who’s at the door, Rollings? If it’s the milkman tell him I understand his family issues,” the voice said as the owner of said voice came forward into the hall, a bit taken aback by the boy at her door. “Oh, well this is unexpected. And who might you be, young man?” 

“My name is Billy Andrews. Is it true that Cole is here? I need to talk to him,” he said, sort of thinking he got the wrong house, what would Cole be doing in the house of an old lady and what he just assumed to be a butler. He was invited inside and was told to wait in the drawing room while the woman went to go get Cole. Billy sat down and glanced around the room, twiddling his thumbs while he waited. It seemed he waited for only a minute or so when the door to the room opened. He stood up as the door opened and Cole stepped in. 

“Billy,” Cole said more of a question than anything, bewildered by the fact that Billy had come all this way seemingly to just talk to him. “What do you want,” he asked, stepping into the room a bit more, Rollings closing the door behind him to give the two young men privacy. Cole walked in a bit more and just sort of looked at Billy, both of them seeming a bit confused even though Billy had been in fact thinking of what he would say for weeks. 

“I did think. I said I didn’t need to think, but you were right,” Billy started, glancing away to avoid eye contact. “I want to start by saying I honestly didn’t mean to knock you off the ladder, I just was going for maybe bumping you and making you paint outside the lines or something that could have been easily covered up with more paint. Honestly, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, and you and I both know I’m not too good at that, but I think all the terrible things I did to you were because I envied you. Does that make sense?” 

“Why would you envy me? Of all people, what about me don’t you have,” he asked, not understanding what triggered this sudden change of heart and being understandably skeptical. “Look at me when you talk at least. After all you put me through, that’s the least you can do. Or do I disgust you that much that you can’t stand to even look at me anymore?” 

“No, that’s not,” Billy exhaled and looked up, now making eye contact with Cole. “That’s not it. I don’t hate you, you’re not the person in the room that I hate,” he explained, having not really said that out loud before but having the feeling he could trust Cole with this. “That’s what I envy about you, you’ve always just been who you were no matter what, you didn’t push those feelings down until they drove you crazy. You’re stronger than me. I hated how in touch with your feelings you were, how open you were to feeling new things. If I ever felt anything that wasn’t anger I just used that fuel the anger, but you only did that once and you had good reason to do that.” Cole seemed a bit shocked by this sudden admission but overall had a generally understanding vibe to him. “You apologized to me for hurting my ear even though I was the one who started it. I used to think you were- well- I used to think something was wrong with you. Now I think maybe something’s wrong with me, too.” 

Cole was taken aback by this for obvious reasons but took another step closer to Billy, just looking at him for a while. “What do you mean? What do you think is wrong with you,” he asked, taking a bit to process what he just said. If he was honest, he impressed to see Billy so vulnerable like this and even though he knew it might come back to bite him in the ass, he trusted him. It was hard for him to admit it, but he felt like he was starting to develop admiration for the boy who had tormented him so many times before. Billy was softening up and opening up to him as well, this was the most intimate conversation he had had with another boy. 

“You. I think you’re what’s wrong with me. I just- I never really felt anything for girls, not even a crush. Now thinking about it and how the other boys would talk about the girl’s they liked, I think maybe I just don’t like girls in that way. The way they would talk about the girls, how they talked about their lips and hair, I realized that was how I felt about boys. Mostly one boy,” he admitted. “I’m terrified, I don’t know what to do with these feelings, but I came here to do something about these feelings and just tell you that I understand.” 

“That’s why you always bailed on Spin the Bottle with some excuse before it was your turn. You weren’t going to risk that. You know Billy, you said I was stronger than you but you’re taking strides to be strong like that too. That’s why I moved here, to be myself with someone who understands. That lady who greeted you, that was Aunt Josephine. She’s the same way as you and me, but with women, I knew here I wouldn’t be judged. Here I could be who I wanted,” he explained with a smile, seeming the most at ease that Billy had ever seen him. “Now it’s up to you to decide who you want to be. Do you want to keep hiding who you are?” 

Billy gulped, swallowing a lump that had been forming in his throat. “I don’t know what I want to do in the long-term, but I know what I want to do now. I want to try something, I’m not really sure how to go about it though,” he began, rambling nonsensically. Cole couldn’t help but feel sort of taken by this side of Billy. He was unsure and nervous while still trying to act like he knew what he was doing, it was endearing to say the least. 

He could tell Billy had been nervous to come here and he was developing what he could only consider to be a crush on him. Honestly, he sort of started tuning out what he was saying, lost in thoughts while he glanced down at Billy’s lips every so often. Cole had never had a proper kiss on the lips, but for once he really wanted to. Billy kept talking and Cole couldn’t help himself anymore, quickly cupping Billy’s face in his hands and pulling him into a kiss and just for that moment, everything in the world felt right. It was now certain that he liked boys and he wanted to kiss Billy again. 

The kiss ended shortly after it began and Billy let out a bit of an airy laugh. “If you’re broken, I guess I am too. I guess we’re both a bit odd, especially since I want to do that again.”

“We can do it again, you know,” Cole asked, smiling, taking in the details of Billy’s face and the smile he was sporting now. No matter what else would happen, everything was perfect. They were still themselves, odd or not.


End file.
